You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
