a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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