No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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