proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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