I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
