"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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