So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
