i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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