The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
