I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
