so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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