i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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