I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
