oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Say something about gay babies.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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