If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
