Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize