He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
