This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
please don't ironically join a cult
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