the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
