I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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