seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize