everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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