Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
