this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
