She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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