Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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