he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
