break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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