She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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