what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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