Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
