He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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