I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
tell me about the eggs
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
