you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
