it wasn't lemon gatorade
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
