Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
