I'm really into asian looking animals
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
