The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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