Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ketchup is God's man juice
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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