now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
