Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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