so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
