singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
