Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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