At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
