How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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