Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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