im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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