We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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