my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize