Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
