So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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