i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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