the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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