Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
