I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He shit in the fireplace
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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