Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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