i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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