i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
