You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
