somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
