Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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