So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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