names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
