beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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