You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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