He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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