my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
