Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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