do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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