Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
