You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
