I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
